Rid the world of TV filth!

Do you ever have moments in which you despise something so much you cannot seem to shut up about it? So bad that you hear other people tell you that you’re a whiner and that you have to stop being a little bitch? Something that’s so bad that you just walk out of the room whenever you see it. I know I do. Which is why you should not imagine me sitting on a chair, being all comfy typing this. Imagine me pacing back and forth through my room, hair all messed up, foam coming from my mouth, way too much blood rushing to my head and all the other things you can imagine angry people doing. Flopping arms included.

The point of my hellaciously burning hate? Television. Now that’s a wide range ain’t it. Let me narrow it down: television shows of the “talent huntish kind”. Yes. It’s that simple. If you thought I was worried about all the terrible stuff that happens around the globe you’re wrong. Television talent shows are the Hell of my world, my Tartarus, my own little slice of purgatory if you please. In almost all cases one could see the striking resemblance in this, because for some reason Dutch television producers manage to find the presenters for these shows lurking in soil on the bottom of the talent pool. Washed up singers and other very “gifted” people (even the worst kind of people are apparently gifted at something, notice the subtle overacting) make very good presenters for these shows.

Eightteen. That’s the number of shows currently running that one of the local newspapers came up with. Don’t give me any “you believe what newspapers write?” crap, because as far as I could see it was as true as can be. Holland is a very talented country. So talented that we apparently need these shows to make the real talent stand out. But we can do everything, as I said. We can dance, sing, dance AND sing, date farmers, go to court for raping little children (never proven), bend spoons, kill a yak from 200 yards away with mind bullets, get anorexia, play Scrabble with the ghosts of loved ones who’ve deceased and did you know we’re very good at designing fashion?

Ok, admitted, not everything I have described here is an actual Dutch production, but the 18 I mentioned before are. And that is NOT counting searches for musical stars (5x), musicians for existing bands (2x) or any of the “Doing Something Amazing With The Overrated B-Stars” kinds of shows. Don’t even get me started on that last one. It’s gone as low as “Children Of The Overrated B-Stars Do Something You Have To See”. Somebody wipe the floor please, I think I’ve just puked. A new way of making it worse appears to be including the Belgians. No offense towards them, I know a lot of Belgians, but apparently TV has gone so bad we need to share it. Help me, mommy.

Some of these shows claim that 10,000 people have tried and only the 10 finalists have made it. How good for them. Let’s do some basic math. Say 5000 is a somewhat realistic average number. Take 18 shows. That’s close to 100,000 people that are actively participating in this nonsense. And that’s not even taking multiple seasons into account. Some of these beasts have had 5 or more seasons already. That would mean up to half a million people! Okay, the number might be somewhat on the big side, but you cannot deny that lots of people apparently sign up for this stuff.

So what is it that makes this kind of TV programming such a necessity? One talent show is almost done and the next one is already advertised. What’s it good for? Apparently the producers behind the eventual record coming out after the singing talent shows don’t have enough actual talent on their label? I wouldn’t be surprised if they don’t even have other people on it. They have an almost half-yearly sure shot #1 hit, because the masses are stupid enough to buy it anyway. But singing aside, what attracts people to watch or participate in these programs?

Seeing John Doe be a real big shot for the next 2 months before drowning in the pool of animosity (in which he finds the rotting corpses of the finalists of the year before him)? Is that really it? Is it the presenters (cleaning service again, please)? Or should we keep it simple and blame the huge PR machine that pushes it so far down your throat you could see it come out at the bottom if you look real close? Surely it’s a platform to get noticed if you really have the talent, but I have yet to hear of someone who has actually made it to the big leagues in the Netherlands. We simply aren’t the right country for this. We should’ve been the US or Britain for that matter.

I’d love to hear your opinion. If you have anything you want to spill on this topic I’d appreciate it. I might be biased because of my negative view going into this, so amaze me and prove me wrong!  Oh and in case you were wondering, the person in the main page picture for this article is not me. Really.

Steven | Algemeen | 17-03-2010 1:07 | 0 reacties

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